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DID YOU KNOW?
Self care - like skincare, hair care etc is good for your mental health.
It’s not just good for your mental health, it is ABSOLUTELY necessary.
It seriously is!
So, I’m a mum.
And if your reading this - it’s extremely likely you are also a mum.
So you know how it is.
Our days are full of calming tantrums, cleaning crumbs off the floor and wiping snotty noses.
Very rare to get 5 minutes to ourselves.
Heck, I can’t even go to the effing toilet without interruptions lol.
NO PERSONAL SPACE.
And it’s every day - day in, day out, no breaks.
And I know what it’s like,
Wear a mum bun as fashion, chuck a quick tinted moisturiser on your face and a bit of mascara, and literally live in lounge wear (or yoga pants lol).
Actually no, I lied
I wear active wear most days to be completely honest.
And I don’t even have time to effing exercise LOL.
But at least I look sporty and like my life is put together, right?
What I’m trying to say is - we often forget about US in the mix of motherhood, housework, actual work, grocery shopping, cooking, teaching, the list goes on. You get the gist.
And what happens when we forget about US?
It depletes our mental health.
There’s a saying that I live by -
“Kids don’t need a perfect mum, they need a happy one”
I read that once and realised I was doing it all wrong.
It changed my life.
I was trying so damn hard to be the perfect mum, I didn’t realise that neglecting myself and the things I like to do was ruining my own mental health which in turn, was unhealthy for my kids to see.
If I’m being honest - I went through some pretty bad PPD when I had my second baby.
He was HARD.
And he literally took every bit of energy from me.
I didn’t sleep for 1.5 years.
He’s 2.5 now and still wakes up multiple times a night,
But it’s different now.
Because I schedule time for me,
I do things for ME.
I realised the reason I was struggling with motherhood was because that’s literally all my life consisted of.
My life was consumed by children and motherhood duties.
I wasn’t making any time for ME!
But I needed to,
And i found a way to make ME TIME that works AMAZING!
So I want to give you some tips on how to keep yourself sane and happy - WITHOUT the mum guilt! (Because we all know mum guilt sets in whenever we do something for ourselves!)
So - what exactly did I change in my day to day life to make ME happy? For MY mental health and sanity.
Firstly - I realised I need to make time for me.
How was I going to find the time for myself when I couldn’t even find the time to wipe my ass without someone watching?
So - I worked on a new schedule, and actually scheduled in an hour each day listed as “ME TIME”
ME TIME is for whatever the fuck I want to do. No interruptions!
But - in order to get that me time - I had to figure out how to get my kids to leave me alone - or find a time that would work (like when they were asleep)
So this is what I found works.
Wake up an hour before them (5:30am for me!) - I spend 30mins doing the things I enjoy,
Like reading, journaling, meditating - the things that make me feel relaxed and at ease! (Plus it’s such a good way to start the day!)
Whatever will fill my soul!
I then get my body moving and endorphins running through - put my headphones and blast happy music into my ears while I get the housework done and dusted early. (As mentioned earlier - no time for exercise but housework counts as exercise- right?)
It’s usually 7am by the time I finish up and my kids are out of bed.
My eldest starts school at 9am, so we usually have a healthy breakfast and get ready for the day.
This is why waking up early is the secret.
You’ve had time to yourself, your housework is done, everyone is fed and ready to leave by 7:30am.
Now it’s time for me again,
Gone are the days my hair gets chucked up in a mum bun and no makeup.
The days I looked homeless leaving the house, lol.
I was told that self care is essential to mental health.
I took that advice on board and it was life changing.
So I spend time on myself to look nice for the day.
I cleanse my skin and wash away the night before.
With 24k gold just to feel extra lux.
You know, Freshen up.
There’s something about skincare that is so good for your soul.
Can’t quite pinpoint what it is,
But I feel like a million bucks when my skin is clear and glowy!
I curl my hair - less than 10 minutes with our VHC.
And I do my makeup.
I tend to not like a full face of makeup for everyday life,
So a little foundation and bronzer,
Finished with a slight bronze eyeshadow and black lashes.
Doing this each morning subconsciously makes me feel SO MUCH BETTER.
READY TO FLAUNT MY SHIT,
SHOW MYSELF OFF.
So I drop my kids off to school and daycare and get to work.
The first thing I do when I get home is have a coffee in peace,
And listen/dance to uplifting music to get my soul flowing for the day.
The rest of the day flows pretty smoothly from there,
And by the time the kids get back home from school - everything has been done.
Which meant - I could spend a couple of uniterrupted hours ON THEM.
Whether that’s taking them for a bike ride or pushing them on the swing set.
Maybe it’s reading books with them, or doing a puzzle.
I just made sure I made a few hours each afternoon free for JUST THEM.
They get this time before dinner,
So by the time I’m cooking dinner, they’ve had a few hours of uninterrupted time with their mumma and they tend to happily sit quiet, occupying themselves, playing together or watching a movie.
And once I get them to bed -
That’s when my actual scheduled “ME TIME” comes in.
I use this time to pamper myself.
Face mask, read a book, soak in a bubble bath with a glass of wine.
Whatever it is I WANT to do!
Sanity = restored.
And want to know something?
It may take a few weeks to nail a routine,
But kids LOVE routine.
And it does wonders for their sleep and also their own mental wellbeing.
Before I was doing this routine,
We didn’t really have a routine.
And I was chasing my tail every day with no time.
I WAS ALWAYS SAYING “THERE IS NOT ENOUGH TIME IN A DAY”
I was getting frustrated at them for wanting to play when I had so much to do!
Giving them MY ATTENTION with no interruptions - well it’s life changing for their little souls.
We are their mummies and they want to hang out with us!
And it’s amazing what happens after you’ve spent an hour playing with them.
They leave you alone.
And they go to bed so much happier,
Feeling loved and fulfilled.
I notice it when something pops up and we miss that play time together -
All of a sudden they are fighting their sleep,
Tantrum chucking and angry.
I asked my 5 year old - what makes you happy?
And he said - “going for bike rides with you mum!”
So I realised - not only was I not giving MYSELF the me time I so needed and deserved,
I was also neglecting the “ME TIME” my children were craving and needing.
Well let’s just say when I changed these few things,
My kids are happier.
My partner is happier.
Our life feels organised and I have so much time in the day! (Not quite enough time to tackle the laundry pile that’s bigger than a Christmas tree - but definitely enough time to get everything that needs to be done - done with extra time just for myself)
So just to rephrase - in order to take back your sanity, you need to make time for the things YOU love, and make time to make yourself look and feel good.
Not everyday will go to plan, and that’s okay.
I’ve got you.
My routine is also going to be totally different to yours, and that’s okay too.
You might not work during the day, and maybe your kids aren’t in childcare/school.
Maybe your in lockdown - and if your are, stay tuned as I have some tips coming up on surviving the lockdown with young ones.
Take a deep breathe - We are all in this together!
YOU DESERVE YOUR HAPPINESS AND SANITY.
So much love,
The (crazy mum) team @ House Of Vimm