> The best way to deal with a temper tantrum. – House Of Vimm
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The best way to deal with a temper tantrum.

by Amber Lear on August 30, 2020

I’ve been sitting here for a few hours with my kids screaming in the background trying to access my higher self and let some words flow into this blog.

 And all that keeps crossing my mind is isn’t it supposed to be “easy like a Sunday morning” LOL. (It’s currently Sunday morning as I write this)

In all honesty - I really struggle to access that part of my brain while there are kids screaming and wrestling right next to me.

 And I must say it frustrates me.

 I get frustrated, angry, annoyed.. why can’t they just be quiet for 10 minutes?

I like to just let the words fall out, you know, write from my soul. But it’s really hard to soul spew when it feels forced.

 But something hit me this morning.

 Why not? Why can’t I access that part of myself with distractions?

 Why not just write in the flow of frustration? What would happen if I did? Maybe my blog would be 100% real.

 Real life mum life right here, no holding back. Coming live to you straight from my lounge room with screaming kids right next to me.

 I’ve decided I’m going to drop some bombshells on children’s emotions today.

Sometimes is all we need to do is understand them.. rather than stop them.

And help our children learn how to properly deal with their emotions.

Because laying on the floor at the supermarket screaming is not the way to deal with how your upset LOL.

What I’ve realised is.. My mood changes everyday. I can be a happy and calm mum, but I can also be an overwhelmed and snappy mum. Lol.

But I somehow expect these little humans to be in the same mood everyday (praying for calm and patient kids as I roll out of bed in the morning).

No.

I can’t expect that from them.

We all have bad days among the good days,

And I’ve come to learn to accept that this is my life now and if I don’t want to get frustrated and annoyed I needed to let go of what I expected from them.

I needed to accept that they are little growing souls - and have to experience different emotions. It’s apart of life.

And that it’s okay to feel emotions, even if they are crying because I wouldn’t let them eat the dish soap 😅

So I’ve discovered some calming techniques - and here goes!

Talk to your kids like you would want someone to speak to you if you were upset. Could you imagine if you were crying and upset (even if it was over something stupid) - how would you feel if someone told you to stop crying and to suck it up? No. It would make us feel unloved, and like no one cares, right?

So try this instead.

So your kid is crying, screaming, carrying on because you gave him his drink in the wrong cup.

Your getting frustrated because it seems so stupid to cry over something like that right?

But have you ever tried looking at it from their perspective?

I’ll give you an example.

You have your heart set on this jacket you really want to buy.

You like it because it’s YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR.

Let’s say it’s red for instance..

So you order it, this beautiful red jacket you fell in love with and your eagerly waiting it’s arrival.

ITS D-DAY and the postie just dropped your parcel off.

EXCITEMENT OVERLOAD.

And then you open up the package to see they sent the wrong COLOUR.

 It’s nothing like the picture you ordered.

ITS HOT PINK AND YOU HATE HOT PINK.

How are you feeling? Pretty dissapointed, crappy, pissed off I bet.

Your upset.

Now you’ve gotta decide whether to keep the jacket and just let it go and be dissatisfied you didn’t receive the item you so fell in love with or organise the painful return process.

Now..

Could you imagine right in that moment of dissapointed if someone told you your feelings weren’t valid?

You’d feel even worse.

So something clicked in me one day,

And I realised instead of talking down on my children, I need to look at the situation from their perspective.

Get down on their level.

Let them know it is perfectly fine to feel those emotions,

But give them love, help them feel better.

Do something to cheer them up.

We know that’s all we wan’t when we’re upset.

We don’t want anyone to talk down on us or make us feel worse for feeling those emotions,

We want some love, understanding and someone to cheer us up. Help us to feel better.

The moment I implemented this into my parenting, I realised I was able to calm those temper tantrums down so much quicker,

And in return a happier healthier mindset for our little ones to grow up with.

And that’s it.

Thats all those little souls need, is some understanding and love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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